DahlHouse: The "Bestest" friends, with the worst friend...

Yep, that's me! The worst friend. Why do I deserve such an honor you ask? Because last week, I tortured two of my best friends through and through. How could such a sweet girl like me, do such a horrible thing like that? Well, read on...

Me and My GREAT ideas
Every now and then I come up with these REALLY GREAT ideas. They are SO great, that I almost feel guilty keeping them to myself and not sharing them with those I love (the pregnant and over 50 are rejoicing). So like any other great idea of mine I shared. My first mistake.

Sunday Night
As usual... I was surfing the internet Sunday night looking for some inspiration. Food, dieting, weight loss inspiration. When I finally happened across something inspiring...so inspiring that I instantly texted one of of my friends at 9 o'clock to see if she wanted to share in this truly wonderful, inspirational idea of mine the very next day.

She said "Yes" ~Her first mistake.
It was a go. Clearly I sold my idea, and I sold it well! I mean, I must be getting better, because this is the same friend that turned down my 5K idea a month and a half ago. I bet she'll think twice when turning down my first idea next time...wink, wink.
Again... my idea was SO great, we shared with another. She also said "Yes". I was on fire (little did I know)...

Hot Mess!
This great idea of mine? Hot ~~Hell~~ Yoga.

I love Yoga/Pilates. It does great things for my mind, body, and overall well being. While I have never been to an actual class, I have done this many times at home. I <3 heart <3 Sara Ivanhoe, and the beautiful beach she brings me to each time I pop her in my DVD player. Plus, she is so considerate. She only asks for 20 minutes of my day.

On the other hand, my other two friends had never done a yoga pose to save their ever precious lives. I assured them, that this would not be a problem. This was going to be great!

Death March
After school we eagerly/nervously headed to the gym. We signed up for the class, which was $20 for one week unlimited (Goodbye $20... you could have been a really cute bracelet). We then took off to Target so M & T could get some gear, went home, got ready and headed back to class.

It's Gettin' HOT in herre
So a typical class is 90 minutes long in a 105-110 degree room. Acclimating to the room seems to be the goal your first session, this seemed reasonable enough. However, the ~~goal~~ rule that was not reasonable, for T especially, was NO talking for the 90 minute session! If this is EVER a rule... don't bring your friends with you. My second mistake.
We walk into the room... it is ~~hot~~ HOT! The room is also silent. And... of course every spot in the back row was already taken. Yes, there we were in a hot, silent room with nothing but a large mirror 2 ft away from us and don't forget NO TALKING. Oh... and 15 more minutes until class actually starts.
So I sat, I stretched, I laid down... I basically did everything I could do to avoid eye contact with the two people next to me (which is pretty hard when you all are sitting right in front of a mirror) for fear of uncontrollable laughter or eye stares like daggers.
The yoga instructor enters. Some young guy (not cute... so I wasn't even relieved by eye candy) that was about as big as my left thigh. He starts off by saying we have quite a few new comers and makes us raise our hands. GREAT! He then assures us that our goal is to "just stay in the room" for the 90 min. He also lets us know that we can look at the "veterans" for help if need be. Oh and we can drink our water... in small amounts... only when he says "party time". Cough BS Cough

Boot Camp
So basically... he barked orders at us, to get into nearly impossible positions, while being dizzy, nauseous, and dripping with sweat from the heat, for the next 90 min. All the while, I was pretty sure he was updating his facebook status or checking his stocks on the smart phone he was holding.

Contradict Much?
Not long into the session T began to feel sick. I assured her to just "lay down" and try and stay in the room. Then M sits down... oh how I want to sit down too... but No... now you have to stay up.
Shortly after, the instructor starts running his mouth about some dumb clock pendulum theory and how others will start to sync with just one. And if we aren't doing our "best practice" then others might feel compelled to not do their "best practice" too. Basically it was a guilt trip for T and M who quickly got the "message" got up and got "back at it". The nerve of that guy!
Later, M was confused by one of the poses. She glanced around to see what others were doing, as it is hard to figure out by looking at opposites in a mirror. The instructor quickly mentioned that we need to keep focus of our own "practice" and not be watching others. REALLY!?!?

The Eight Year Old Inside
The session started off with this intense breathing exercise. Really, for someone who has never attended a formal yoga session this can come as quite a surprise. I tried, but I couldn't help but laugh. Actually it came out like a slightly loud farting noise, as I was trying to keep my mouth from exploding with laughter. Have you ever done that? Tried to hold in a really loud laugh only for it to seep out of your pursed lips and make a farting sound?
Little did I know... that was actually my saving grace, and probably why nobody even noticed my laughter... because as the session continued on I came to realize that farting is a perfectly acceptable thing to do in Yoga. However, it is not perfectly acceptable in my world and the little eight year old inside of me can't help but laugh, while everyone else seems not to notice. What the heck? That "ish" is funny people!?! And as M later put it "girlfriend you squeeze those cheeks together and keep that to yourself"!
All this to be followed by more awkward sounding breathing exercises.

Enlightenment
While my epiphany of enlightenment was probably much different from those that were "veterans"... this is what I learned.
#1~What I thought was going to be this: